|From Irish Clover|
Last night, our family lost our little pet guinea pig, Jellybean. He had gotten very sick and the vet did not give us a positive prognosis. I made the difficult decision to let him go so that he didn't die alone at the animal hospital in the middle of the night, but instead, would be with us when he passed.
As a mother, this has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. My little guy's heart was broken and his pain was one I could do nothing about. He was filled with guilt, thinking he hadn't taken care of his pet and he was responsible. He was filled with remorse at not spending enough time with Jellybean while we had him. He became angry that God would take Jellybean so early in life.
This is the dark side of loving. It is much easier to lose something when one is not as invested. To love means to feel the pain of loss, and it is a deep aching pain. Seeing my son in a pain I could not alleviate broke me. A part of me wishes I could spare him from feeling this type of pain ever again, but I can't, no mother can, nor do I really want to. To keep him from feeling the deep aching pain of loss would also mean keeping him from the deep joys of love and I would never want him to miss the warmth of feeling love for something and to have the love returned.