Friday, May 23, 2008

Growing

Today, I stole. I stole a little bit of time for just myself and had a date with Maggie, my spinning wheel. Maggie and I settled in the living room with this lavender roving and we made yarn. I feel slightly bad about stealing some time for myself instead of picking up Little Clover right away, but honestly, I wasn't ready to see him just yet.

Today, he became a fourth grader, and sure, he probably didn't grow a centimeter in the time between being dropped off for his last day of third grade and being picked up, but the fact remains, he's older now and, well, bigger. He's hitting the upper limits of elementary school. This school year, his friends will enter the double digit age range. Plus, I've already noticed the shift in his perspective. Now, when I participate in school events, I'm only present to him on the periphery. He's fully engaged in a world of boys and friends and sports, and I'm becoming more of a chauffeur and less a part of the activities. Trust me, I view these shifts as wonderful. Maybe I'm doing an ok job and he'll be a fantastically independent adult when the time is right, but I sure do miss his little hands in mine when I see him at school.

His hands have filled more of mine lately. My time to myself today was a way for me to pour all these thoughts and feelings into a yarn. One day, I'll pull out the yarn in whatever form it will have become and remember the day of transition, when my little person grew a little bit bigger. Then, maybe I'll have an easier time of looking at my big person and remember when he was little.

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